Thoughts on Hurting Others, Being a Weak Man, and the Sufficiency of Christ

Isn't it easy to pretend? Easy to put on a mask? Easy to get caught up in the expectations others have for you? Easy to plan out your whole life...until those plans get wrecked. It sure comes easy to me sometimes. I am a man, and I am not a big fan of being vulnerable and having people see my weaknesses, to see behind the mask.

I would rather be the guy at "God's Gym" bench pressing the cross. You remember those ridiculous shirts? You do. Ridiculous. Point is, I want to have it all together, to be strong, to be seen as strong, and to often use God to get me what I want. Yes, use God. I do it. God can be a means to an end, the end is my pleasure or me being seen as strong or all put together. I need God...when I need God.

My Bible is in my hand (for all to see), my shirt is tucked in with my khaki pants on. I look the part. Look at me...I have it all together. Sin? Only on Friday nights, maybe. Weaknesses? Can't even spell the word. Hurting others? Never. Not me...I love Jesus, I am going to seminary, to official church world one day...I have it all together. I have to have it all together? Right? All the happy people do? Don't they?

I've learned a lot of tough lessons over the past year. I've messed up a lot. A LOT. Hurt people, wrecked relationships, lived selfishly, pursued things that didn't matter, been dishonest and spiritually lazy, been a poor friend, lead people on, used my money to glorify myself and not God, excelled in spiritual pride, often acted like a boy and not a man, and put my will in front of the will of God, and I could go on...So there's me. Ouch. Looking over the past year (and more) and seeing the devastation that happens when you put yourself before Jesus Christ can be overwhelming. Why admit all that? Why share?

Because I don't think you can truly grow until you look honestly at your life and where you are. And I don't think it is good to pretend to be someone you are not. You're not good. I'm not good. I'm just not. So I'm going to quit pretending that I am good. Only God is good. That's it. This is what community groups are for, this is what real friendships are for, to confess sin and how much we get it all wrong and still love one another as Christ has already loved us. Can we just be real? We are all broken. We are all messed up. We sin like it's our job.

The difference between where I am now and where I have been is that I have finally taken the mask off. I just got tired of trying to be someone I wasn't and I saw how that was hurting a lot of people. Sometimes God has to break us before He can truly use us. I just want to encourage you that God knows all your crap and loves you anyway. God still used me in amazing ways over the past year, and God will continue to use me even as I continue to sin and fall short.

It's not about being perfect, it is about resting in the sufficiency of the One who is perfect.

So confess to God, confess to your friends, and start living in the radical grace and freedom of the Gospel. Jesus didn't die for the perfect and well put-together people, but for those who recognized their desperate need for His grace. God is faithful to forgive us, and faithful to love us through it all, and faithful to use us in spite of us.

It was humbling to admit where I had been and where I still often find myself. It is tough to look back and see how selfish I was and how bent I was on doing whatever I wanted, but I finally allowed the grace of the gospel to rush over all my stained parts and make me clean again. Transformation happens best when we admit our NEED for it. God continues to call us out of darkness, out of our sin, out of the brokenness we create to new lives filled with the Holy Spirit for the sake of the Kingdom.

Admit it. You're messed up. And give it all to Jesus. It is what He does...trading in the old for the new. It is what He has been doing from the very beginning. He loves to do it. Stop being a slave to sin and the past, quit being so worried about yourself, and get yourself on mission serving and sacrificing for others in real and tangible ways. How many of us through our full-time jobs or through volunteer efforts encounter utter brokenness and pain all the time in the lives of others? We are the wounded healers...only truly able to heal others by allowing God to begin healing all that has gone wrong within us.

God says to Paul that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Power made perfect in...weakness, not strength. This is where God shines through most magnificently, in our weakness. Healing happens with honesty. So be honest! Get that sin, shame, guilt, pain, darkness out there and see healing begin to take place!

We are in desperate of need of grace, so let's receive it, and start living in the glorious freedom the gospel creates in people who are honest enough to admit they don't have it all together and need someone to rescue them. This is what the Body is, broken people helping/loving/serving other broken people and pointing them to the One who was broken for them.

So take the mask off. Because in Christ it's already off. The Gospel is sufficient.

His grace truly is enough,
R.D.